It’s great when you get a match with the hot guy or gal that you liked on Tinder. You know that you find each other attractive and like what you’ve read about one another’s profiles. But knowing what to say on Tinder is the next natural step.
For some, this is where things get tricky. It’s easy enough thinking of something funny and witty to say in your profile but trying to think about what to say that’s not too forward, but shows you are interested, that might make them laugh, and at the very least get them to respond, can be tough.
It’s so easy to put someone off, especially when they don’t know you at all. If you go in too strong, or don’t seem interesting enough you could wave bye-bye to that hot date before you even stood a chance!
What to say on Tinder to land your next date
So, you know the pressure is on. But what exactly should you say on Tinder to give you the best chance of taking it to the next level and setting up a date? Here are some useful tips and ideas starting with the basics, and the right things to say.
#1 Don’t be afraid to reach out first. There is nothing wrong with being the first person to make the move. If you like the look of your match, just go for it and start a conversation right away.
It’s not going to look weird or desperate—that’s what Tinder is there for after all. If you leave it too long, someone else might pip you to the post!
#2 Make sure you stand out from the crowd. Remember getting matches on Tinder is pretty easy so make sure you attempt to say something that grabs their attention and makes them want to get to know you better.
#3 Reference something in their bio. Show that you actually read what they had to say on their bio. Ask them a question about it or make a little joke. Say something to show you are genuinely interested in getting to know them better.
#4 Pay them a compliment. Everyone loves a compliment. They have no doubt put up pictures of themselves where they think they look their best, so there is no harm at all in paying them a nice compliment—just don’t be too intense.
Keep it light and fun, and they’ll find you charming. Go overboard too soon and they might find you a bit desperate or creepy! Be warned!
#5 Ask questions and pay attention to the answers. Obviously, asking lots of questions is one of the best ways to make sure you get a response. Think up interesting questions to ask them and start there.
Try and be more original than “how are you?”. Ask them something specific and unusual. You’ll pique their interest which means they are much more likely to respond. When they reply pay attention to what they said and build a conversation from there.
#6 Be relaxed and friendly. Make sure you keep your tone light, relaxed, and friendly. No one wants to hang out with someone too intense or desperate sounding so just be chilled and keep it light and fun.
#7 Don’t be too safe or generic. Remember originality is key here! Don’t just stick to safe, boring topics. Being a little quirky or unusual is something most people find attractive, so don’t be afraid to take a few risks to capture their attention.
#8 Don’t keep on messaging without getting a reply. If they turned their phone off for a meeting and turn it back on again to receive five messages in a row from you then it’s going to look pretty crazy.
Give someone time to respond. If you must wait a few days, so be it. If they can’t be bothered to reply they are not worth your time in the first place.
#9 Don’t make your initial messages really long. Keep it short and sweet in the first instance. You don’t need to give them your life story all at once. Instead just stick to a few lines at first until you build a rapport and know one another better.
#10 Don’t be bitter about rejections. If they don’t reply or do but are dismissive then just let them be. They are not worth your time anyway, so don’t bother getting angry or bitter about it. Just move on—there are plenty more fish in the sea after all.
#11 Don’t be too sexual. It’s not a good idea to come on too strong. Don’t say anything overly sexual before you have even met.
When you start getting to know one another:
#12 Try to make them laugh. Humor is always a winner. If you are known for being a witty person then use this to your advantage. Gentle teasing is also fun, so try to make them laugh—but don’t force it.
#13 Pay attention to details. Remember always read what they write and pay attention to the details. People want to feel heard. They want to know you are interested in them so don’t gloss over what they say or make the conversation all about you.
#14 Don’t always reply right away. It’s okay to leave them waiting a while sometimes!
#15 Start flirting. Make sure after a few exchanges that you turn the conversation a bit flirty. Make sure there is chemistry between the two of you before you meet.
#16 Don’t let the conversation part go on for too long. Remember you can’t just keep Tinder messaging forever. You must get out there at some point and meet them in the real world. After a few days of chat, it’s probably time you suggest you meet up.
#17 Showcase your interests. Make sure they know what a busy and interesting life you lead. Getting to know someone includes finding out what they like and don’t like. Talk about the things you do, the hobbies and passions you have, and ask them about theirs too.
#18 Keep asking questions. Keep the conversation flowing by remembering to ask lots of questions, otherwise you run the risk of your chat just petering out.
#19 Be genuine. Remember, if you are going to get on in real life you need to be yourself. There is no point pretending to be someone or something you are not. Be genuine and see how it goes.
#20 Don’t brag. While telling them all about yourself is one thing, make sure you don’t come across as arrogant. No one likes a bragger, and if you seem to self-involved this could be enough to put them off.
#21 Don’t get too personal. Remember you haven’t even met this person in person yet. So even if you enjoy some really great conversations, don’t get too deep or too personal. Ask them out for a date instead!
In conclusion, remember to:
#22 Use a witty and original opener.
#23 Ask questions and build a conversation from the answers.
#24 Be funny *but don’t force it*.
#25 Be available, but not too available.
#26 Try flirting a little.
#27 Secure that date!
Remember, you might not always have a 100% success rate but that’s okay. If you’re wondering what to say on Tinder, just keep being friendly, genuine, and most importantly, yourself, and you are sure to get there in the end!
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