Long Distance Relationship Advice

Being in a long distance relationship can be extremely difficult, but if both sides are willing to make the effort, long distance relationships can really, really pay off! And if both parties work hard enough, it could potentially make your relationship even stronger.  

Yes, there’s that old saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”. It’s totally true. If you two are really into each other and you both take the proper measures to make it work, you two will be better off. Count on it.

So here are some proven tips that will ensure that you and your partner maintain a strong, healthy bond even though you are physically apart! 

Make a communication schedule with your partner

Being a relationship counselor, I encounter a lot of couples struggling to make long distance relationships work. And in my line of work, I’ve seen people try almost everything to resolve the issues that arise, so I know what works and what doesn’t.

Step 1 – Make sure there is an end in sight. Unless you two want to have a cyber relationship for the rest of your lives (no offence if you’re into that sort of thing), you’re going to have to first talk about when the whole “distance thing” is going to end. Talk about your end goal and keep that in mind as you move forward. Use this as your motivation. Envision how good it’s going to feel once you two achieve your goals apart and then finally reunite!

Talk about this time with your partner and tell him or her how excited and happy you’ll feel once this moment comes.

Step 2- Trust, trust, trust. And then trust more. It’s pretty cliché, right? And it goes without saying, sure, but during my time as a relationship counselor, I’ve seen couples say they trust each other, but fail to actually put that trust into practice.

Okay, first I have to say it’s natural to feel jealous. It’s okay to feel possessive. I’m possessive over my cat and my laptop computer! And there’s nothing you can do or say to make me automatically lose that emotion. It’s what you do with that emotion that makes a difference here.

Trusting someone means giving them space when they need it. Constantly pestering each other will only cause arguments and disagreements, and trust me when I say that having an argument over the phone or over e-mail can sometimes be much, much worse than having one in real life. You want to avoid these disagreements as much as possible – the integrity of your long-distance relationship depends on it.

So the next time you feel jealous, instead of asking him or her, “What did you do last night? Were you with another girl/guy?”… just don’t. Instead, turn this emotion into something positive and tell your partner that you’ve missed them.

Step 3 – Schedule times to communicate with each other. Technology has come a long way. Imagine trying to have a long distance relationship with someone over e-mail…

Don’t be afraid to let your partner know that you miss them!

“Back in the good old days, we’d actually have to write a letter by hand and send it through snail mail. It would take months to send one letter across the ocean!”  – My dad

We live in a pretty amazing time in which we can Skype and FaceTime each other for free. So take advantage of these technologies and make sure you two get your fix every couple of days. When you do communicate, make sure you talk about everything together. Don’t be afraid to talk about mundane, day-to-day stuff. By talking about almost everything, you immerse each other in your respective lives.

Step 4 – Schedule visits. Yes, this is one of the most important steps. Make time for some visits. Now, I have no idea how far you two will be apart or how much time and money you have to make this happen, but if this person is worth it, you’ll make it work. Physical contact is so important in a relationship, and in fact, studies show that physical contact may be the basis of attraction, so capitalize on this info!

And make these reunions mean something. Make sure your time is spent well and that these reunions are hot. Yes, sex is extremely important during these times, so make sure you have great sex (and a lot of it!).

Step 5 – Talk about your future with each other. Yes, remember Step One and keep the end goal in mind! Motivation is the key to victory here, so talk about how incredible it will be once your time apart is finished. Talk about what you two will do together. Talk about where you will go. Talk about the little things like which restaurants you’ll go to. Or talk about how amazing it will feel once you can hold each other’s hands again.

Every relationship counselor on the planet will tell you that communication is key to success when it comes to any relationship, and long distance is no exception! So keep these 5 things in mind when coping with your long distance relationship – and don’t be afraid to send this article to your partner to read as well!

Cheers!

BY:  Jessica Raymond