Things Men Should Know about Women

Men have a lot of misconceptions about women, their clothes and about humor. Getting a woman to like you is really simple, but not as easy as you think. Find out what women really want from men.

Click here to read the introduction: Girl Things that Guys don’t Understand

DO GIRLS LIKE BEING CALLED BITCHES OR SHORTY?

At least from where I come from, ‘No!’ with the caps blaring. I’m not a female dog nor would I feel pleased to know I’m short (which I’m not, you animal!).

I know rappers have been driving women all around town (and you up the wall) chanting “Shorty, I’m gonna take you there” but that’s just not going to work here, “dawg”. The last time a guy called me a b-i-t-c-h was in bed.

I can assure you, he was the one who yelped like a dog after I was through with him. Don’t try this. It’s insulting and quite annoying. Really!

Answer: Nonsense! Whoever taught you such things, you bad boy…

HOW CAN A GUY TURN ON A GIRL?

Doofus, didn’t you look around? There’s a little red button which says “Press Me”. All you have to do is push it. And Kaboom! She’s turned on. So let’s play a game of twenty questions here. If I had to turn you on, what would I have to do? Hoist you up and look you up? Warm you up and freeze you down? Gee, I dunno. I guess it’s really hard to figure.

But on the easy side, all you need to do is pleasure up, and just go with the flow. If you find that your girl’s feeling jumpy and keyed up, then you’re definitely doing something right. Watch the signs. You may do a few bad things, but with a few if’s and but’s, you’re bound to do something right. You didn’t learn to start your forearm workout in one sitting, did ya?!

Answer: Explore her. Every girl is different. That’s why we call those spots secret spots!

WHY DO WOMEN WEAR REVEALING CLOTHES AND HATE IT WHEN MEN STARE?

Well, this is easy. Why do women wear revealing clothes? Women don’t wear sexy outfits for ‘men’. Period. Women wear sexy revealing clothes for Sex Gods. The same ones who take all the air out of the room when they walk in. No, no, you aren’t in the ‘Sex God’ list. If you were, you would have skipped to the next question in a blink. Women like looking good, because they want to feel confident, look good, attract the right kind of attention, and hook the right big fish before her friends hook it.

There’s a lot of competition out there. More than you guys would ever know. You might find this bit confusing, so going the easy path here, if a girl gives you a dirty stare, you’re not a Sex God. Go lick your wounds and nurse your poor shattered ego. But if she’s fine with your stares, and actually positions herself so you can get a better view of her, well, who could have known?! You might actually be Sex God material.

Answer: She’s ignoring you in those revealing clothes? Close your eyes. It’s not meant for you.

I HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR. CAN I GET ANY GIRL?

Do you have loads of money? Great looks? A fancy car? An attitude that can put Bond to shame? Well, if you can boast of all of that, along with your ‘I’m-so-funny-I-can-make-girls-pee’ attitude, then perhaps, you could get any girl in the world. Otherwise, you’ll have to settle for ones who ask for less. After all, a good sense of humor is not enough to woo and impress a girl. It’s more or less a talk of barter. You’ve got one shortcoming, she’s got one? Then it’s a perfect fit.

But FYI, girls do like guys with a sense of humor. A lot. But a guy who thinks he can floor a girl with his wit, hasn’t had tequila. Nor has he tried dating any other girl but the one who wears a multi-colored wig, has a pink nose, and works in the circus.

Guys, if you really want Miss World in your arms, and you’re working on just your wits to get you there, think about this. Why the hell isn’t Aladdin Ullah or Jay Leno in the ‘Most fancied men in the world’ list or something remotely close?

Answer: Yes, just as long as you have other things too.

Click here to continue reading: Girl Things Every Guy should know About